mr p on the heath, hampstead

florio photo, june 08

the inimitable mr p!

florio photo, london, June 08

phone home

whare are you?

What is it specifically about this time of year that prompts you more than other times to think of people who aren’t around?

I’m thinking in particular about an aunt of mine who I was very very close to when I was younger and then one day she disappeared (all due to some silly family falling out where everyone was too bloody proud to say that one simple word: sorry!). She was a great source of comfort to me when my parents parted when I was 11 years old. She introduced me to so much and helped me grow so much too. She taught me how to be strong (in retrospect, maybe too strong-headed at times!!). She seemd to totally understand me. She helped me get through the tough time that comes with your parents splitting up way back then when in our village we were only the 2nd family to have D.I.V.O.R.C.E.  over our heads. Kids at school were so cruel but how would they know how to be if it hadn’t come from hearing their parents whispering (gossiping!)about it in the first place I wonder?

Lucinda Williams ‘World Without Tears’ – ‘how would broken find the bone………….how would misery know which back door to walk through…..?’ spirngs to mind right this minute.

I’ve tried to find her a couple of times and came very close to once but then the letter got sent back as ‘no longer at this address’. I did hear that she was very ill a long time ago and the most hurtful thing is not knowing if she is still alive even. I have had the same mobile number for over 13 years which I am sure she has. Why doesn’t she call? I wonder if its because she needs to forget the family that cast  her out all those years ago – even though I was never part of that?

It will always be the unanswered question for me. But, I can hope that one day, she will get in touch when she is ready.

I do miss her though………………..

London Bridge, London (hellyjphotos 2008 Copyright)

give me shelter

from the storm within

Why are people so angry?

Walking down the street past a man this

morning shouting at his small daughter,

whilst dragging her along – her almost running

to keep up on her little legs. Seeing her

pained little face almost broke my heart.

Is he angry because he is unhappy, hungover, or frustrated at his life?

I’m not quite sure where I am going  with this post but I sense so much unhappiness – masked as anger – around me. Anger creates a kind of inertia. Surely we need to learn how to stand outside of ourselves and question what it is that causes these feelings.  How can we relate to those around us otherwise? Moreover, how do we relate to ourselves and who we truly are?

‘There is a courage involved

if you want to become truth…..

whats the use of’

old and frozen thought……’ Rumi ‘Not Here’

I need to think more on this post………….

Whitlow Park, Highbury, London (hellyjphotos 2008 Copyright)

a nation of ‘no’

rules of the game

When did we become such a nation of ‘no’s’ and ‘don’ts’? What happened to the the freedom of having fun?

What real harm can kicking a ball around, hitting a bat against a ball and letting your dog run around freely? All activities that when I was a kid, for sure, were taken for granted. These kind of rules and regulations did not exisit back then.

Would we need all these rules and regulations if we all took responsibility for ourselves? Maybe thats where the problem lies………..perhaps there are too many people out there who don’t? Point in case yesterday: walking my dog, cleaned up after him and went to put the poo-bag in the doggy-bin and as I stepped up to the bin, I felt this squelching under my shoe! Urghhhh!!!!! How can someone let their dog mess right in front of the doggy-bin and not even pick it up?! Hey, I’m not a nazi about stuff like this because if you are walking your dog in a wood for example, then there is no real need to clean up as it will bio-degrade. But, if its in a park etc, then respect the fact that kids will be playing there and someone will invariably stand in it!!!

Ooops…..I’m ranting……..but perhaps answering my own question as well. Rules are there for a reason I guess but maybe its only those of us who are ‘more aware’ abide by them? However, I do know that I like to break them now and again too……I’m off to kick a ball around the park with my dog (off the lead to-boot!) where I took the above pic!! 😉

Highbury Fields, London (hellyjphotos 2008 Copyright)

situations not problems

Do we realise that we limit our potential by the words that we use?

If we think ‘impossible’ then surely it follows that it is impossible?

What would you do if you weren’t afraid? I mean really, what would you do?

Start to believe, really believe, in what you want and your mind will find a way to make it happen.

“You see things and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and I say ‘Why not?'” ~ George Bernard Shaw

Do the ‘impossible’ – it’s fun!!!!

Upstate New York (hellyjphotos 2008 Copyright)

the wisdom of trees

taking stock

There is a wonderful Tibetan proverb (thank you for the inspiration, V) that basically says that we spend so much time doing, doing, doing…..then before you know it our time here has passed like the blink of an eye.

Why are we constantly running around……or running away from is perhaps more apt? Its so important to stand still, let the water in the glass settle, for us to reflect calmly.

How can we gain wisdom otherwise?

Take note from the majestic sageness of the tree’s around you next time you are in the park. Inspirational.

Whitlow Park, Highgate, London (hellyjphotos 2008 Copyright)